Make a whole new religion

I wondered if the news had gotten out. Research has shown that the moon is starting to shift out of course and around 2030, we won't have a moon anymore. Some scientist suggested building two artificial moons. One for the northern hemisphere, one for the southern.

ok, I lied

But the thing is, if one day the moon is no longer there, what will people do?
From the people I know, it seems to me that we'll just build a moon..
But is the moon just a moon to us?

like the moon, I suspect, we tell people that many other things are just events.. things that we can easily replace. we have such complex thought processes that sometimes our reasons are totally out of point. using the moon as the example, we often talk about the moon but never about the events that happened under the moonlight- which are actually what is important

How many times have we heard someone saying that a teddy bear or bookmark is irreplaceable?
Why is this so? I figure it has something to do with that object growing to be part of a memory, and it had occupied a space in our hearts.

And it is this 'matter of the heart' that is so tricky and scary..
coz once it grows in your heart, there is no turning back..

Do you have such and object?
One that triggers the emotions, the smell and even touch..
An object that no one, no place, no time can replace...

I have a friend who often think himself as a lost soul. So he turns to a higher power and devotes most of his time and effort to finding himself. He often complains that he has a distance between us because he is often absent at our outings and meet-ups.
So I often wonder to myself that if this is the exact power that is taking him after from what he can have and enjoy now. Would one have use for the enlightenments he has found when he's 99 years old and on his death bed? When he has lost those precious years he could have with his friends and companions?

but after looking deeper into the matter, i found out that it's not that he has no time for his friends. but he has found another group of friends that he is investing his time on.
then it occurs to me, as i am writing this, that i am an expired good friend.

But I guess this is the best thing for leaving your past, isnt it? The idea of becoming a new person. a new life. a new start.

You are no longer the crybaby, the unsure one, the heartbroken one. You get to be be a new person and the people around you now have no first hand knowledge about your past.

I wonder about the many people in my past.
Some left me. some got left behind by me.

Are they still doing the things we did together?
eating the same dish?
playing the same games?
do they think of me?

"ah.. but you'll find someone who will love you better, " I hear a voice say at the back of my head. but I am missing the point here, am I not?
Everything that I'm gloomy about are those that are in my blood, my veins, my heart.
And they will always follow me.. in my shadow, in the laughter, the the purple evening gown

Breathe in the new air
it may hurt a bit
But nothing hurts more when I am standing next to last in your heart
so I'm gonna bid you farewell
for my destiny is not here
not here, waitin next to nothing

if there's another thing I can share with everyone, it is that we should never waste time on people who will not spend their time on us..
I wasted my time on friends before
I wasted my time on love before

bumped into a good friend last weekend when he was having coffee with his friend.. the first thing he told me, in a blaming tone, was that he hasn't visited my new house and that my birthday present is in his house.. what saddens me was that I didn't feel angry. I guess I've learnt not to be affected by him already.. such a dear fren once..

but isn't life glorious!?
haha.. coz people have wasted their time on me..
so I guess I can't feel angry or what, can I? :)
Life is a Cabaret

enjoy the happiness when you're happy
immerse in the tears when you're sad
let it all out when you're angry
but never let one emotion stop you from feeling the other :)

in other words.. stop that self pity, bitch
pick yourself up and start again

Life is only but a dream.. why try to read it so much?

Life is a Cabaret ~from musical Cabaret
What good is sitting alone in you room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret.

Put down the knitting, the book and the broom.
Time for a holiday.
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret.

Come taste the wine
Come hear the band
Come blow your horn
Start celebrating
Right this way, your table's waiting.

No use permitting
Some prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away.
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret!

I used to have a girlfriend
Known as Elsie,
With whom I shared four sordid rooms in chelsea
She wasn't what you'd call
A blushing flower...
As a matter of fact
She rented by the hour.

The day she died the neighbors came to snicker:
"Well, that's what comes from too much pills and liquor."

But when I saw her laid out like a queen,
She was the happiest... corpse... I'd ever seen.
I think of Elsie to this very day.
I remember how she'd turn to me and say:

"What good is sitting alone in you room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret. "

And as for me, and as for me,
I made my mind up, back in chelsea,
When i go, i'm going like Elsie.

Start by admitting,
From cradle to tomb
Isn't that a long a stay.

Life is a cabaret, old chum
Only a cabarert, old chum
And i love a cabaret.

realised something scary today

learnt how to relax and meditate today at GE class..
was asked to picture a scene that caused me anxiety.. and the tutor asked us what we tell ourselves when that thing happened..

so I remembered me getting lost in the supermarket when I was 5..
I ran everywhere to look for my mommy.. and I was telling myself that I'm lost.. and I'll be lost forever.. that I'm unwanted

and I realised that I still feel that way now.. when I lose my mom, when I lose my siblings, when I lose my frens in the crowd..
though I don't run around because I've learnt to relax, telling myself that I can find them through handphone..

Is this the reason why I am so desperate to grow up?
so that I can fly away and not want people in my life

Because the people who told me that they're never leaving left
and those I wish they will say that they will always be here never did