Make a whole new religion

People often ask me where I got my name from.
And surprisingly, no one ever saw Stephen King's Pet Sematary.

Gage is the cute little boy who came back from the dead EVIL and killed his own mother.
Anyone who gets to see the movie, look at the scene when Evil Gage is put to sleep by his father. I will forever be attracted to the pain on his face when he was going to die for the second time.

An Angel sent from Hell..
Sweet things are made of this

The older "Gage"

The Official Miko Hughes Website

Pet Sematary (1989)


Thanx to Tawfiq. You found another missing piece of my life :)

Labels: Childhood

Someone asked, "You don't believe in love?"

Of course not. It never occurred to me that not believing in love means you desire to be alone forever. But I'm glad that that point of view was presented to me.
Perhaps I shall share mine.
Then we'll have a larger point-of-view pool. hee.

I guess what I meant was relationships are actually quite realistic. A matter of tit for tat. A relative fair transaction. You have something I want. I have something you want.
You remove what I want from you, I remove you.
There is no 'I will die for you'.
No 'I will give you everything you want'.

Of course I would love to settle down someday.
But to those who believe that selfless love exists. I respect that. And I blame Hollywood too.

Anyhow, happy for you.
Because I'm not here to propagate.

Love will save the day!
What's love got to do with it?
love love love love love

love

Labels: Thoughts

we live on a mountain
right at the top
there's a beautiful view
from the top of the mountain
every morning I walk towards the edge
and throw little things off
like: car-parts, bottles and cutlery
or whatever I find lying around

it's become a habit
a way
to start the day

I go through all this
before you wake up
so I can feel happier
to be safe up here with you

it's real early morning
no-one is awake
I'm back at my cliff, still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
on their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
imagine what my body would sound like
slamming against those rocks

and when it lands
will my eyes be closed or open?

I go through all this
before you wake up
so I can feel happier
to be safe up here with you

-

I have often told people that I love Björk's hyperballad especially the part "will my eyes be closed or open?". Naturally, people look at me strangely. I never told anyone why. But just the other day, I heard a whisper "Maybe it's time".

I heard the other day that my best friend didn't want to talk to me about her boyfriend because she didn't like to hear what I think of him.
Far too many people tell me that I am a tyrant. And people fear my anger. Hence, they RECOMMEND that I do not act the way I am. I confess that I was a monster. But that time, I was 20. Everytime someone comes to me to say that I have too much anger, it pains me. Because it has been years that I've kept my angry side out of the public. I never told anyone of them but all that they see is the Gage many years ago. Where have they been all these years? I don't know.

Why do I say this? It fairly simple. If I am still a tyrant. Will there even be a chance for them to tell me how they feel I should change for the better?
I suspect that they are the one who hasn't changed for our relationship.
They hold the "why must you be so unreasonable" card so that they can make me change to be what they want me to be.

So everytime I see these people. I kill myself. That part of me that they think is so unacceptable.

I grew up with a strong mother. And she will be first I find when I need strength. But after the divorce, she has been weak. A quality I dislike.
So every week before I go home from my hostel dorm, I kill a bit of myself. So that I don't need her to be strong anymore. So that I can see my love for her again.

Everyday before I get out of bed, I kill a little bit of myself.

The Gage who is too harsh for everyone's fairytale world.
The Gage who doesn't want to waste his energy to wave and say hi.
The Gage who thinks that people who need to hear sugar-coated feedbacks are weak.
The Gage who doesn't believe in love.
The Gage with the bad temper.

I kill myself a little everyday not because it makes me a better person.
But because this is the only way I can happier and safer with the people around.

Labels: Thoughts

My best friend told me that some other friends didn't want to talk to me about their problems because some of my views are skewed.
Well this is weird. Where did this come from?

"Well, perhaps not skewed but too honest and not what people like to hear."

"What an insult," I thought.

So I have two pleads.
If I will ever give a skewed advice, please tell me so that I can re-evaluate.
If it's just something you don't want to hear, just tell me politely. I promise I will stomach all I want to say.

"Love yourself, don't allow your lover to bully you" is not skewed.
"Your lover gives you something that is sub-standard to what you want. I say you should never sell yourself like that" is not skewed.
"If your lover and mother loves you, they won't put you in such a spot" is not skewed.

If you don't like what you hear, just ask me to stop. I won't try to force you to grow up. Please don't ever insult me and say that my thoughts are skewed!

Labels: Thoughts

When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me.
And I have no love to give.
When I'm feeling separated from the world.
And cut off from myself.
When I'm feeling annoyed by every little thing.
Because I'm not getting what I want.
I'll remember that there is an infinite amount of love available to me.
And I'll see it in you.
I'll remember that I am complete within myself.
So I'll never have to look to you to complete me.
And most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have, and whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it.

Labels: Quotes

Here's the site to my film class.
I hate my film but I have to face the music.

It's called Along.

ADM Website

Enjoy some fine films done by my friends though.
I promise I'll work harder.

Labels: Films

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within three hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke . . . totally. He said the trick was having a stroke recognized, diagnosed and then getting the patient medically cared for within three hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE:

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
*Ask the individual to SMILE.
*Ask the person to TALK, to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE. (Coherently, e.g It is sunny out today)
*Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.
If he or she has trouble with any one of these tasks, call for an ambulance immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Labels: Come Grow With Me

I actually had a feeling that this year's elections will be a start of something new.
Well, I think in a way, it was. I just didn't think that change will have to happen so slowly.

I guess the Gomez incident helped Singapore all in all.
Thanx for the stupid mistake, SIR!
It helped Singaporeans see that the Opposition Party CAN get their act together. And it helped PAP see that the younger generation is not like the old. If the Gomez incident had happened a few elections ago, PAP should have gotten above 70% instead of 66.6%.

When PAP used upgrading to tempt the residents of Potong Pasir, one old granny commented, "Lifts on every floor isn't much of an issue. I'll just treat the stair climbing as exercise. What we need is a voice."
WOW. Respect this granny!

I sure hope that this election served as a wake up call. And it seem so. If you were here during that period. PAP seem tense (unlike all the previous elections). And I like that.

I wonder what the next elections will be like. And I want to see how the new government will be like. I somehow have a bad feeling. PAP's desire to monopolise the parliment is scary. And I'm afraid of more undertable dealings in the government. Since PAP has learnt that Singaporeans aren't too afraid to vote against them anymore.

Time to spread the power. Although I didn't get to vote. But the fact that I am under the Tanjong Pagar GRC shows some unfairness in the committee that draws out the districts (which PAP has 82 out of 84 seats).

Change is here.
Let's hope it's for the better.

Labels: Thoughts