Make a whole new religion

I was talking to Chad at work just now. He talks about something that's been on his mind, an experience he just had.
And when I was sharing my thoughts with him, he interrupted me.
"I just saw someone hot!"
Sensing that he wasn't that interested about the previous topic, I stopped and continued talking about other things.

Then we talked about something else.
I think we were talking about the lousy people we have known before.
About how we dealt with them.
I can't exactly remember because I was interrupted once again.

For most of my life, the friends I am very close to are mostly reflective and we love to bounce thoughts off each other. And this is how we learn and deal with difficulties along the way.
We talk about something, listen to what others have to say and say how we feel.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Partly due to my natural-born communication patterns and partly because of the communication ways that I am used to,
Whenever someone shares his or her blues,
I bounce off solutions,
reasons,
possibilities,
methods,
procedures,
expectations,
results...

Then someone like Chad comes along.
To be honest, I will not have been able to handle him if I had known him years ago.
Chad communicates in the way that he dumps whatever is on his mind.
Off load, and move on.
No solutions needed from you, thank you very much.
And after he off loads, it will be your turn to speak.

And just as I was about to lose my temper because Chad had once again failed to show any interest in my thoughts, I remembered that he was just being himself.
And I smiled.
And I think life is amazing in this way that it allows space for growth.
Just as you think you've figured out the best way to communicate, it throws another situation at you.

Just like Chad.
Just like the times when my friends faced some problems.
Sometimes we just want a listening ear, not solutions.
So now I learn to know when to offer my analysis of the situation.

Just like knowing yourself.
When you think that you have finally figured yourself out, something happens to force you to examine yourself again.
Just like love.
When you figure what love is, you realize that you didn't.

And I think this is what life is.
And I see people trying to apply a set of rules to everything they know.
To friends.
To how to communicate.
To love.

Maybe this is how we fail.
When we refuse to recognize that there is space for growth in ourselves.
That despite the knowledge that we can be better, we refuse to pick ourselves up.
When we keep telling ourselves that this is the best that we can do.
And we should just accept our fate.

Maybe this is why we fail.
When we only love in one way.
Application, process, ends in tears.
Back at one.
Application, process, ends in tears.
And after we do it 12 times, we are convinced that we are not built to love.

I believe unravelling takes time.
Time to know someone else better.
Time to know yourself better.
And everyday I grow a little.

If you ask me why I am strong.
I will say that it is because I have the strength to force myself to grow everyday, little by little.

So to everyone that I love, I wish you strength.
Never stop growing
:)

Labels: Thoughts